The Scam: A Close Call
“Ms Poon, you have activated a $900+ per month insurance policy.”
“I didn’t activate anything on my end and I don’t remember signing up for any policy.”
“OK. Since you didn’t sign up for the policy, you need to cancel the authorisation of the deduction of the premium.”
To cut the long story short, I was almost scammed of all my money in my bank accounts if not for my phone running low on battery, and I was able to send a text message to the family chat that I was on criminal investigation.
Wait a minute! Didn’t you say that it was a phone call cancelling the unauthorised premium deduction? Yes! I was so emotionally drawn that it turned into a criminal investigation on my bank accounts and the misuse of my SingPass details.
Experts have advised against engaging scammers as they have been professionally trained to exploit our psychological vulnerabilities. Their interview style was very similar to how a police detective interrogates a suspect. I have watched enough JCS Criminal Psychology, Mindhunter, CSI, Law & Order on Netflix to identify that on hindsight. But it was too much and too intense for me!
The scam call came five days after my dog of sixteen years died. Emotionally, I felt very vulnerable as I was still feeling the grief of losing my dog. Also, they knew my full name and that I was a NTUC Union member.
While my story ended without financial loss, the emotional aftermath was overwhelming. I felt so, so ashamed of myself, fearful of being judged and labelled stupid and naïve. I started to shut down.
Nightmares, anxiety, and flashbacks flooded me day and night. I was extremely shocked and traumatised. I would wake up several times in the middle of the night, sweating and feeling paranoid and anxious. I didn’t trust myself using electronic gadgets due to my fears of further scams.
I always thought that I was smart enough to deal with all those scammers all these years. An article entitled ‘I thought I could outwit scammers’: Woman who lost $78,000 to job scam in four days[1] tells us that we really can’t win those scammers.
Experts note that scams can trigger a complex and deeply personal mix of emotions and psychological effects.
Emotional Effects
- Shame and Embarrassment
- Victims often blame themselves for being stupid or naïve and this can prevent them from reporting the scam or seeking support and professional help.
- Shock and disbelief which leads to self-condemnation and self-blame.
- “I can’t believe this happened to me. How could I be so stupid? Why didn’t I see it coming? Why didn’t I hang up?”
- Victims often ruminate, and replay the events, trying to make sense of it or hoping that it was just a misunderstanding and that they could get back their money.
- Fear and Anxiety
- They can become anxious about further identity theft, financial consequences, or being targeted again. They may be fearful of picking up phone calls and become excessively afraid of handling money.
- Some victims may experience paranoia or a lack of trust in people and systems. It may also alter their relationship with money.
I remember calling the police hotline twice in two days and emailing the officer in charge of my case every day, expressing my concerns of the scammers using my personal details and identity to buy eSIM cards, open online bank accounts and commit other crimes. The police officer whom I spoke to, was very reassuring and said that it’s normal for me to feel anxious and fearful.
As I restored all the bank apps on my phone, I shuddered with fear while holding my phone. Self-doubt crept in. Can I trust myself using all these technological platforms? Is it really safe to park my hard-earned money in the banks? I questioned my judgment. It took some time before I regained my self-confidence.
- Loss of Confidence and Self-Esteem
- Anger
- Anger can eat into victims when the anger directed at the scammers, themselves, or even institutions turn into rage or desire for revenge, or self-harm.
- They can become very angry with the institutions for failing to protect them from the scammers.
- Sadness or Depression
If the financial loss is huge, or the scams involved emotional manipulation (like love scams), this can possibly drive some victims to depression, self-harm, and even suicide. [2]
Psychological Effects
Financial Distress or Hardship
Victims may be scammed of their entire savings and left with debts to pay people and on their credit cards. For older victims, this can cause long-term economic hardship and disillusionment, which may lead to them ending their lives by suicide.
Trust Issues
Victims normally become highly suspicious and wary of people, especially in romantic, business, or online interactions.
Social alienation
Due to the shame and fear of judgment, victims may isolate themselves from others and keep to themselves.
Disclosing the scam to partners or family can lead to arguments, blame, or strained family dynamics.
Mental Health Issues
If the trauma of the scam and its impact have not been properly processed, some victims may develop chronic anxiety, severe depression, severe insomnia, or even Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
What To Do If We Know Someone Who Has Been Scammed?
1. Encourage them to take action.
- Reporting the scam to the police and the banks.
- Cancelling all Internet banking accounts and credit/debit cards.
- Offering them assistance.
2. Give them lots of empathy.
- Don’t add oil to the fire: Don’t judge them or tell them what could have been done. It’s already in the past. Avoid saying ‘You should/should not have…. Next time, be careful.’
- Empathise and validate their emotions.
Hindsight is always perfect. The ones affected by the scam may have to live with the consequences, the whys, and the grief. This guilt that they carry can be very intense.
- Reframe their experience: scammers are experts and anyone can be a victim! Assure them that they are not naïve, gullible or stupid. Never easy in catch 22 situations.
“If I were in your shoes, I might not know what to do and I could be a victim too.”
3. Direct them to professional help
- If the scam episode manifests in symptoms such as low mood, sleep issues, panic attacks, high anxiety, and affects their day-to-day social functioning and work performance, they need the professionals to help them.
- Talking about the experience with the professionals and seeking support are crucial steps to healing and recovery. No shame.
- The trauma of the scam needs to be dealt with. Friends or family members may not know how to process the trauma with the victims
I had the privilege of a very good friend who processed the trauma with me and I was able to sleep soundly that night. I was able to move on from there!
There is so much shame and stigma about disclosing ourselves as scam victims. Yet, scams are so rampant these days. Victims can get help and support and need not be traumatised by the experience. Hence, sharing my story is part of reclaiming my confidence and voice—and a reminder that scams don’t define us. By speaking up, we take the power back from the scammers.
References:
- [1] Tan, Christine. (2025). “I thought I could outwit scammers.” The Straits Times.
- [2] Sun, David. (2023). “The Painful Costs of Scams: Suicide and Self-Harm.” The Straits Times.
For scam prevention resources, visit SPF or MAS.
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