“My Anger Is Tearing My Family Apart” – A Client’s Journey to Healing

Handling Anger

Anger is a natural emotion that everyone experiences, but when it becomes frequent or overwhelming, it can strain relationships, health, and happiness. If you find yourself struggling with anger, know that you are not alone—and seeking help is a brave and positive step toward healing.

The Breaking Point: A Client’s Story

A man in his 30s—newly married for just a year—came to me desperate for help. Frequent arguments with his wife left him smashing objects within reach. Terrified he’d eventually hurt her, he was deeply afraid that his anger would eventually lead him to hurt his wife and break up his marriage. He knew he was overreacting but felt powerless to control his anger.

Key causes we uncovered in his initial sessions:

• Grew up in an abusive home where violence was normalized through physical punishments dealt by his parents
• Bullied and beat up siblings and classmates as a child to cope with anger.
• Felt “not good enough” when his wife criticized his career progress.

These feelings of not being “good enough”, a reoccurring theme in his life would trigger his anger, making it hard for him to respond calmly

Why Anger Takes Over

Anger often masks deeper emotions:

• Hurt (e.g., from past trauma or criticism).
• Fear (of failure, abandonment, or repeating family cycles).
• Helplessness (feeling trapped or inadequate).

For this client, childhood abuse and shame about his career fueled his outbursts. Therapy helped him see anger as a symptom, not the root problem.

How Therapy Transformed His Life

Therapy provides a safe space to explore the roots of anger and develop healthier responses. For my client, identifying his triggers and understanding how his past influenced his present behaviour was transformative.

Through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), he learned to:

1. Identify triggers (e.g., feelings of inadequacy).
2. Replace destructive thoughts (“I’m a failure”) with balanced ones (“I’m doing my best”).
3. Communicate calmly instead of reacting explosively.

Result: Fewer fights, rebuilt trust with his wife, and confidence in his ability to change.

Practical Steps to Manage Anger Now

While therapy is ideal, these strategies can help today:

In the Moment:

• Pause & breathe: Count to 10 or leave the room to cool down.
• Repeat a mantra: Try, “This will pass” or “I choose peace.”

Daily Habits:

• Journal: Track triggers and progress.
• Exercise: Releases tension (e.g., running, boxing).
• Practice relaxation: Progressive muscle relaxation or meditation.

Long-Term Tools:

• Build a support network: Friends, groups, or therapy.
• Plan ahead: Rehearse calming techniques so they’re automatic.

Hope for the Future

For my client, therapy was a turning point. He learned to manage his anger, communicate more openly with his wife, and rebuild trust in his relationship. He realized that seeking help was not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step toward a healthier, happier life.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

If you see yourself in this story:

1. Reach out: Therapy provides tools and healing.
2. Start small: Try one anger-management tip today.
3. Be kind to yourself: Healing takes time.

If anger is hurting your relationships, contact us for a confidential consultation. Let’s work together toward a calmer, happier life.

Questions about Anger?

One step at a time towards peace

Share the Article to someone who will find it helpful!

• WhatsApp
• Telegram
• LinkedIn
• ShareCopied to clipboard